Note To Self

Today I looked in my notebook that holds my brains on hard copy for anything I need to list or remember, and found a note I had written to myself. I desperately needed to be reminded of these things I wrote after reading Matthew 14:24-36.

Dear Stacey,

It's Peter's initial question about whether or not it was the Christ who came upon them on the Sea of Galilee that led him to ask Jesus to prove Himself. Once Jesus invited him onto the waters, the winds were blowing and Peter became afraid. He was overcome by doubt in Christ's ability to save him from natural forces. The chain of events that led to Peter sinking were brought about by seeds of doubt. You're no different!

If you question who God is, then do not expect Him to prove himself through easy circumstance. That's foolishness! Life will always bring storms of one kind or another. You will face times of adversity for the rest of your stay here on this Earth. The question is this, Will you fear when you see the natural course of sin's impact? Will you trust that the Lord is strong enough to handle even the roughest of elements?

Do not doubt!!!!! Do not!!!!

Always,

Stacey

I need to write these things down more, so I can surprise myself after I forget what I've done. Wait a minute, is this a good thing, or a bad thing?

I'm Back

This is what I've been doing since I last blogged...

Enjoy!

More posts coming soon...

Adoption

Over the past many years, it seems that I have heard more about adoption than I ever have. My life has been touched by adoption on many levels. I've seen it done well, I've seen the adoption be received by the children adopted with gratitude, I've seen the adoptee struggle over the biological parent's perceived rejection, and struggle to embrace the love and care of the adoptive parent, I've felt the loss of a sibling I never knew, I've faced adoption as a potential option in an unexpected pregnancy, along with many other situations.

In all the scenarios I've seen, none seem to be more painful than the ones where either a child was adopted for reasons other than a pure desire to love, nurture, and train a child and launch them into adulthood, or the ones where the parent strives to truly be a parent to the child and the child simply won't have it, they are so hung up on the loss of the biological parent who simply couldn't or wouldn't play the role the child longed for them to play, and has built a fantasy about, so the adoptive parent never quite seems to make the cut. The child continually rejects the parents love and won't forgive for mistakes. There seems to be no ability in this type scenarios for the adoptee to step back and take an objective look at the fact that they were born to one individual, and another, who had no REAL moral responsibility to them made a clear, decisive decision to take that person on as their own, to make a commitment that is binding in every way, and make that person their child.

Recently I had opportunity to touch the heartache of what it is like to have a parent that really never signed up for the role, and did just enough to keep the child alive. I grappled with what I was seeing, the injustice of it all, the heart of the child toward the parent, the loyalty and unconditional love they felt for the parent, and the understanding of what a child needs from a parent beyond food, water, shelter, and enough clothing to get by. I was asking questions that demanded answers. I was talking to my husband about my struggle and in usual fashion, he challenged me to view this whole thing from another angle, to ask questions other than the one I was asking. Quite simply, he asked me to ask the Lord "Why would you bother to adopt this individual? Why would you bother to be as faithful to this person as you have been? Why would you bother to step in to such a messy situation and care, love, rescue, provide for, and redeem?" As I began to ponder these questions, that demanded an answer from ME. I had to conclude that the Lord loves this individual more than I can really ever know, that He cares more than I can fathom, and that my questions are all coming from the wrong perspective, they are questions that really have no satisfactory answer this side of Glory.

As my perspective has begun to shift, I have thought much about what it looks like in adoptive families when a child embraces an adoptive parent, when they are appreciative for the love and care that they have been given, it requires me to put away childish thinking.

Thank you Father for adopting me, for grafting me in. Teach me to relax in that, and live from it.

Need More!

My suburban homesteading middle child (John Deere) declared that last year's raised bed was simply not enough room for him. He appealed to his father and I to allow him another plot, real land. We granted him his request and the Dawg tilled up his plot this afternoon. John Deere and I ran to Lowe's this evening to pick up cinder blocks ($1.39 each) and landscape timbers (on sale for $1.97 each) a total cost of about $40 for a fence (of sorts) that will keep our dog out, and will allow us to put up netting to deter any other unwelcome "guests". I will keep you updated on this venture through this growing season.

Sleeping Garden

Spring is on the way. This sparks a hope that is so fresh, yet feels vulnerable.

I'm so ready to get out in the dirt, plant seeds, water, and weed, then watch the Lord work His remarkable plan of creation out in front of me. Just when I start to doubt that the seeds I planted will sprout, up they pop. The Lord really is faithful. He is true, and He is more kind than we can fathom. He loves us so.

Lord teach me to love you more, and better.

It Is Well With My Soul

Horratio Spafford
1873

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.


My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!


For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,No pang shall be mine,
for in death as in lifeThou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!


And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Totally RandomThoughts

*Why is it that when I try to get up earlier that my children get up earlier too?

*God is very big and in control, even when things around me seem to be spinning out of control.

*The heart is far more fragile than most would believe and yet more tenacious than we can fathom.

*I love suprises.

*I miss the garden.

*God's creation brings a comfort like nothing else. A healing balm.

*Discipline is under-rated.

*You just never know what someone else may be battling, what kind of shadows they may be chasing, or what ghosts they may be sparring with.

*The Lord really does have our days numbered and is in absolute control over our lives ultimately.

*I am so very thankful for the man I married and the particular 3 children the Lord so graciously gifted us with.

*We may be getting a new roof today.

*I want snow.

*Sometimes I want to move far, far away.

*If we don't go out to dinner tonight, it's baked potatoes and salad.

*I need more coffee and a shower.

Food For Thought

It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.

~Voltaire, 1751

Tag, You're It!

I got tagged for this meme by Shan over at http://halfsoledboots.blogspot.com/.

Here are the rules:

The meme works like this:1) Link to the person who tagged you2) Mention the rules3) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself4) Tag six other bloggers by linking to them5) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.

1. I love to watch public access TV. Local churches, County Commissioners meetings, Agricultural Extension specials.

2. I can't stand to sleep alone.

3. My jaw pops when I chew due to TMJ.

4. I have this obsession about clothes smelling good, so I use nice smelling detergent and fabric softener sheets.

5. I hang my feet off the end of my bed and rock them back and forth as I try to fall asleep or rub them together, especially when I'm cold.

6. Along with everyone else in America, I would love to write a book one day. I don't know what it would be about. It wouldn't be a work of fiction though.

Now, I tag Missy, Marsha, and Laura.

Slapin' Grandma Goodness

While I'm posting recipes, I may as well share this one that I just put together. With the economy in the shape it's in, I figure I better be teaching my kids to love the "old" recipes so that they can be resourceful in years to come, and have quality of life in the midst of hard times. I want them to have the ability to pull together a smashing dinner with very little on hand.

Bread Pudding:

2 cu. milk

1/4 cu. butter

2/3 cu sugar

3 eggs

2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg

1 tsp. vanilla

3 cu. bread (I used 1 loaf of Italian bread cut up into 1" cubes)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Heat milk until film forms on top. Add butter. Stir until butter is melted. Cool to lukewarm. Mix sugar, eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla well. Put bread in casserole dish. Slowly add the milk mixture to the sugar mixture and mix well. Pour over the bread. Bake 45-50 min. Let sit for 10 min. Pour Whiskey Sauce or whipped cream over top and serve.

Whiskey Sauce:

1 1/2 cu. Heavy cream

2 tsp corn starch

2 tbsp. cold water

1/3 cu. sugar

1/3 cu Bourbon (I used Honey Whiskey. Mmmm!!)

Slowly add water to corn starch while stirring until well blended. Set aside. Have sugar measured and handy. Have whiskey handy. Bring cream to boil. Add corn starch mix to cream and whisk constantly. Return to boil. Reduce heat, whisk, and cook for 30 sec. DON'T BURN!!!

Remove from heat. Add sugar and whiskey. Stir until sugar melts. Let cool.

Here are 2 of my favorite Fall recipes.

Enjoy!!!

Layered Pumpkin Bread

Missy posted this recipe last year. I've altered it a bit.

Bread:

1 1/2 cu. flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1 cu. sugar

1 tsp. baking soda

1 cu. pumpkin

1/2 cu. canola oil

2 eggs beaten

1/4 cu water

1/4 tsp. nutmeg

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp allspice

nuts (optional)

Filling:

1 pkg. cream cheese

2 tbsp granulated sugar

1 egg white

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F. Sift together the flour, salt, sugar, and baking soda. Mix the pumpkin, oil, eggs, water, and spices together, then combine with the dry ingredients, but do not mix too thoroughly. Stir in the nuts (if you're using them). Beat filling in a separate bowl until well blended. Grease loaf pan well or 4 mini-loaves. Pour half of the batter into pan. Spoon half of the filling mixture evenly over the center of the batter. Cover with remaining pumpkin batter.

Bake 50-60 min. Until straw comes out clean. Turn out of pan. Cool on rack. Serve warm or cold!

Spice Cookies with Pumpkin Dip

Cookies:
1 1/2 cu. butter, softened
2 cu. sugar
1/2 cu. molasses
4 cu. all-purpose flour
2 eggs
4 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. ground cinnamon (or more, if you like)
1 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. cloves
1 tsp. salt
additional sugar

Dip:
1 8oz. block cream cheese softened
1 can pumpkin or pumpkin pie mix (18 oz)
2 cu. confectioners sugar
1/2 to 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 to 1/2 tsp. ground ginger

Instructions:
Cookies: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add molasses. Mix well. Combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and salt. Add to creamed mixture. Mix well. Chill (at least 3 hrs.) Shape into 1/2 inch balls. Roll in sugar. Press. Place 2" apart on cookie sheet. I lightly sprayed mine. Bake 6 min. Yield: about 20 doz. *you can store in the refrigerator for a couple of weeks.

Dip: Beat cream cheese until smooth. Add pumpkin. Beat well. Add sugar, cinnamon, and ginger. Beat until smooth. Serve with cookies. Yield: 3 cu. * Store in the refrigerator.

I never notice how loud we are around here until it is time to turn on the attic fan, and open the windows.

Grandma's House

We're off to Grandma's in TN this weekend.

Streams In The Desert Devotional

19) Strength From the Sorrow

"Now it came to pass after the death of Moses,
the servant of the Lord, that the Lord spake unto
Joshua, the son of Nun, Moses' minister, saying,
Moses my servant is dead; now, therefore arise,
go over this Jordan, thou and all this people"
(Joshua 1:1-2).

Sorrow came to you yesterday, and emptied your
home. Your first impulse now is to give up, and
sit down in despair amid the wrecks of your
hopes. But you dare not do it. You are in the
line of battle, and the crisis is at hand. To
falter a moment would be to imperil some holy
interest. Other lives would be harmed by your
pausing, holy interests would suffer, should your
hands be folded. You must not linger even to
indulge your grief.

A distinguished general related this pathetic
incident of his own experience in time of war.
The general's son was a lieutenant of battery. An
assault was in progress. The father was leading
his division in a charge; as he pressed on in the
field, suddenly his eye was caught by the sight
of a dead battery-officer lying just before him.
One glance showed him it was his own son. His
fatherly impulse was to stop beside the loved
form and give vent to his grief, but the duty of
the moment demanded that he should press on in
the charge; so, quickly snatching one hot kiss
from the dead lips, he hastened away, leading his
command in the assault.

Weeping inconsolably beside a grave can never
give back love's banished treasure, nor can any
blessing come out of such sadness. Sorrow makes
deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on
the heart which suffers. We really never get over
our great griefs; we are never altogether the
same after we have passed through them as we were
before. Yet there is a humanizing and fertilizing
influence in sorrow which has been rightly
accepted and cheerfully borne. Indeed, they are
poor who have never suffered, and have none of
sorrow's marks upon them. The joy set before us
should shine upon our grief as the sun shines
through the clouds, glorifying them. God has so
ordered, that in pressing on in duty we shall
find the truest, richest comfort for ourselves.
Sitting down to brood over our sorrows, the
darkness deepens about us and creeps into our
heart, and our strength changes to weakness. But,
if we turn away from the gloom, and take up the
tasks and duties to which God calls us, the light
will come again, and we shall grow stronger.
--J. R. Miller

Thou knowest that through our tears
Of hasty, selfish weeping
Comes surer sin, and for our petty fears
Of loss thou hast in keeping
A greater gain than all of which we dreamed;
Thou knowest that in grasping
The bright possessions which so precious seemed
We lose them; but if, clasping
Thy faithful hand, we tread with steadfast feet
The path of thy appointing,
There waits for us a treasury of sweet
Delight, royal anointing
With oil of gladness and of strength.
--Helen Hunt Jackson

Fresh From the Garden

Here are some veggies I decided to roast. They (butternut squash, okra, tomato, eggplant) are all from our garden, except for the spring onions.

Funny Stuff

Over on Missy's blog, she posted all her findings after going to Google and typing in her name and "needs". I did the same and here's what I found:

Stacey needs:

some love.

a buddy too.

help getting her name out there.

new shoes.

a hobby.

to update.

you to help her fulfill her Olympic dreams.

posh NYC digs to further her writing career.

her own space in a playing area.

to be just a beginning.

to be awake to audition for Alan Brady.

to "bless" my life long friend.

to be convicted and sat across from me so I can watch her drink the same drink she gave her 3 victims.

the support of Baby-sitters Club when the pressure of home, school, and work pile up.

understanding, not rejection.

help.

to buy a new dress.

to curb her food intake.

to be smacked.

a haircut.

the words of a book read aloud to her.

a shopping cart.

some toning.

to have a parent assigned to her by the court.