Lucy And Ethel? No, Lucy and Ann

There is a lot to be said for a Best Friend.

I never had a Sister growing up. I always fantasized about having one, and in my fantasy, I didn't ever like her. It's just as well that I didn't have one...

I DID have a Best Friend that was as opposite from me as a gal could be. I am a "strapping" gal of 5'10'' and have been since 13. I weigh more than you would guess, for sure, and there's nothing petite about me. I have a pretty bold, and very honest perspective, and opinion to express most of the time, and until recent yrs. lacked much discretion with my honest opinions. There isn't much bubbly or sweet about me, and having 2 pretty "cool" brothers, I didn't tend to be very silly.

My Dearest Friend from childhood is not even 5' tall, very petite, tends to be more non-confrontational, she chooses her battles carefully. She certainly has opinions, but is able to come across as neutral. I've had the privilege of hearing many of the rants others would never hear. Missy is one of the most loving, giving, and truly sweet people I've ever known. It's genuine. Not a bunch of fake, put on stuff. She's pretty bubbly, sweet, and lots of fun, at times borderline silly, even now.

We've been friends since we were 4, I think. Her home would be the first of many of my "homes away from home".

I got a call from her tonight. We talked for almost 2 hrs. and I just need to say what a comfort it is to have people who know almost all there is to know about you, at least, the very worst, and still love you, accept you, and want relationship with you. It's a gift indeed! Missy, I'm glad to have you as my friend!!! You've been much better than that Sister I fantasized about.

Thank you for hanging in here with me for all these yrs.

I love you girl!!

Forgiveness Isn't...

I've had a few additional thoughts about forgiveness, and hope they're helpful.

Often times when there is a sin we need to forgive, or need to be forgiven of, we either forget there are consequences or get hung up on making sure there ARE concequences. There tends to be this assumption that forgiveness makes everything "okay" and lets the offending party off the hook. I think that is where most folks recoil at the thought of forgiveness without really understanding what forgiveness is, and the freedom waiting on us when we do forgive.

Certainly there are varying degrees of sin/offense on a human level that require varied responses or boundaries. Each situation can be very unique and complicated. I think we usually think of forgiveness in terms of being a kid, someone kicks us in the shin, it hurts some, they say "sorry" we tell them we forgive them, or "it's okay", then go on, leaving ourselves wide open to continue to be kicked.

I tend to think of forgiveness like being in a basketball game, and being fouled. Some fouls are just simple, unintentional slaps on the arm, others are face wrecking nose breaks.

If someone simply slaps me on the arm, I most likely need to forgive, and go on. Especially if they acknowledge it. Other times may require me not to even acknowledge that I've been fouled at all. If it's a broken nose, I need to get my hiney off the court, and get to a Dr. to set my nose. My concern becomes getting fixed or healed. The Ref. will take care of the offending player, ESPECIALLY if He's my Dad!! Fines, and maybe ejection are what that player is in for. I would do well to be more concerned about my nose, and the future of my face. There ARE consequences for him. They are none of my business. Once I forgive, and the healing begins, I'll be able to clearly see the boundaries that need to be in place around my life, if any. Nobody ever sees clearly with watery eyes from a broken nose.

The Father who was willing to give His only Son to shed His blood for me, sees all, and knows my heart along with the heart of anyone I've ever hurt, or been hurt by. Nothing escapes his eye, and He cares far beyond my comprehension, yet not nearly as much about many petty things I may get hung up on. He's righteous and JUST.

As I've come to know what my Father is like, I've been pleasantly surprised to find that He is nothing like what I thought He was, based on the natural "God Representatives" I had. In my mind's eye, I had Him fashioned all wrong!!! He doesn't go passive, He won't leave us, yet He's not a bully. He won't jump into the pit of unforgiveness, or bitterness WITH us. His rescue of me hasn't always been as comfortable and easy as I've wanted it to be, and looking back I now agree. He demands far more of me than I thought He would, and far less at other times. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. That doesn't mean there ISN'T a yoke, or a burden.

We will each have unique characters in the story of our life, but the story lines are very similar. We all desperately need to be forgiven, and if we haven't been fouled yet, it's only a matter of time...

What Is Forgiveness???

Today I had 2 very unrelated conversations with folks that are feeling the sting of having been deeply hurt by someone they love. In both conversations the topic of forgiveness came up, and it's gotten me thinking...

For a long time now I've seen people come to those points in life where they have to choose to forgive, or go head long into bitterness. No, bitterness isn't necessarily what they are consciously choosing, but it is the natural outcome of NOT choosing to forgive. Easy to say, we learn some of this very early on in church. The hard part is when you have been left naked, and cold on the inside, and you are faced with the reality that in the economy of God's Kingdom, forgiveness is a given.

Well, what is forgiveness anyway? What does it mean? What does it look like? What will it feel like? Will it make me feel any better? What does it mean for the offending party?

I can remember the first time I was confronted with a REAL need to forgive a party. A godly man came to me and said "Stace' you MUST forgive ........" I remember crying and snapping back "How much better will I feel after I do THAT, and how is that going to make my life any better NOW"? This poor fellow really didn't have the answers for me. That's okay, I wasn't really listening yet. I was just mad, mad as all get out, and underneath that, hurt, very hurt!!! The Lord knew my heart was to do what He wanted, and had already placed a godly couple as Sunday School Teachers (he was a counselor with the Fire Dept.) in my life to begin to answer some of the deepest questions of my broken heart, and busted up life. I told him how mad I was that this other fellow told me I had to forgive the offending party. He agreed with the guy. How dare He? He was supposed to be on my side! He cared too much to not shed light on the path to true freedom. It would be yrs. before I really began to "get it".

I went to the Fire Station where my SS teacher worked many afternoons to talk out much of the confusion I faced, and begin to pursue the deepest questions I had about forgiveness. He was reading Bold Love by Dan Allender at the time, and it gave him so many good answers to faithfully put in front of me. I can remember being told "Forgiveness only opens the door to the restoration of the relationship, upon the other person's repentance". Okay, that sounds good enough. Provides me with some safety there, I can accept that. Easy enough. Nope, not enough! That still doesn't answer "What is forgiveness?".

I truly have come to believe that forgiveness is giving up my right to "pay somebody back" or punish someone when they hurt or offend me. It doesn't stop there. I believe true biblical forgiveness accepts Christ's shed blood on the cross as ENOUGH for the sin against me that I may well want to ''handle" myself. That isn't always easy, and only becomes easier with practice. OUCH!!! The cool thing is that we aren't just "dropping it" we're accepting Christ's payment of shed blood as enough to satisfy our demand for retribution, and then the debt no longer involves us. It's between the offending party, and The Father. This is where the healing in my emotions BEGINS. It takes time, but will happen. I'm then able to go on and continue to love, I'm free from bitterness and it's defiling impact, if a relationship has been broken, I can be free to remain open to restoration upon the other person's repentance. I'm free to love, and truly free to heal.

Forgiveness will be necessary to give and receive for the rest of our lives. More than anything, in understanding what forgiveness is, I've come to a much greater appreciation of just what it really means that I've been forgiven, and see that the cross isn't just a neat thing for us to talk about at church, or claim to "go to Heaven". It's a nitty, gritty reality.

What a sweet, sweet Savior!!!

Soup & Bread

Now that Fall is finally upon us, it is most certainly time to make a pot of soup, and get the bread baking cranked back up.

Send me some of your favorite soup and bread recipes.

It's In The Air

Aaaahhh, my fall garden is planted, and it's starting to cool enough to be invigorating. I can feel some creative flow kicking in, and it's a good thing, b/c it's going to be another "homemade Christmas" around here. Beware, if you're on my "trading list" for Christmas, it'll most likely be a homemade gift. I'm so OVER the commericalized Christmas, and am ditching our culture's greed for the simpler things. In the coming weeks I look forward to afternoons of basket weaving, sewing PJ's for my younger children, making soaps, lotions, candles, and creating stamped cards with the kids.

How's the freshness of Fall inspiring you?

Open Hands

Last night The Dawg was watching a college game that began to feel more personal than entertaining, so he declared that if Alabama lost to Arkansas there would be no more college ball in our home. Mercy!! Our boys would have needed many sessions of therapy for that one!! He cut off the T.V. and "hit the road" taking a mile walk, talking out some frustrations with the Lord. I finished folding a load of clothes, put them away, turned out all the lights in the living room, grabbed a blanket, and went out to sit on the patio (this was around 10:00). I sat for a good while praying and looking a the stars before he got home. He arrived, and I just continued praying and star gazing. After a while, he began to open up, and talk about many things on his mind. He announced that he thinks he may leave the career he has been in for roughly 21 yrs. and "do something else". It's funny, I was just sure a yr. ago when some things were going on in his work situation, that the Lord would intervene and all would be well in no time. NOT SO!! Instead, the Lord has granted us the grace to weather the storms, and see ourselves in the midst. Yuck!! It has provided me with an opportunity to see, and surrender much to the one who knows that I am but dust, and died for me anyway. I'm learning that He's good, regardless of what's going on. I'm also learning that what a very wise, faithful father figure told me yrs. ago is true..."Stacey, hang onto hope, but don't EXPECT". I think he knew me far better than I ever gave him credit for. I'm growing into that. I still have plenty of wiggle room, and thus room to grow. Most likely it will be a work in progress until I'm on the other side. I do feel though, like I am at a place with the Lord where my hands are wide open, willing to go, do, or stay wherever He wants us, and waiting with bated breathe for what's next.

Father,

Thank you for all you've given, all you've taken away, all you have planned, and all you are!!!

Hospitality?

I think I've had an enlightening thing happen this week. More of a "DUH" thing that anything, but heck, I've learned something, and for that I'll rejoice!

I've had a couple of opportunities arise over the past week and a half where neighbors have had something of a serious nature going on in their lives. You know, especially in the church I grew up in, and maybe in the "old" South, in general, it was just standard to offer a meal, and any help needed. Often times folks know they need the help of a meal prepared for them, or help with housework, or some other practical need, and will refuse the offer. Then you're left with sort of an awkward situation. Usually I have just plowed along and done what's been in my heart to do. It becomes a judgement call.

It dawned on me a week and a half ago when someone was insisting that they may not be at home much after a tragedy, and they didn't know if they would eat a meal there, that one of the best meals I can send to someone is a homemade Chicken Pot Pie, and an Apple Pie. They can freeze the thing for months if needed, or can go ahead and use it, but it's there. I can also make many ahead, and freeze them so I can have them on hand, ready to go at a moment's notice, as is usually the need. I HAVE them, so I can explain to the sweet decline that they are already in the freezer, all I have to do is pull them out, and bring them over. Who can deny that those are also some of the grandest comfort foods?

Soooo...tonight when I got the news that a neighbor's small child is in the hospital with pneumonia I left a message that I was bringing dinner (pot pie meal) would they like it Monday, or Tuesday?

Viola' problem solved!!!!

Blessings

In life, it's easy to take things for granted. The Lord, Life itself, family, friends, jobs, health, and the like. 'Tis true, we most oft don't know what we have until it's gone, but there are those occasions where we are alert, sensitive enough, and paying enough attention to what we have been blessed with to really bask in God's goodness toward us through Himself, His word, others, nature, etc.

Tonight while sitting in my living room with my husband and a childhood friend, I was struck by God's absolute goodness toward me, and the richness of the soil of friendships he put around my life from very early on. Friendships that I hold dear, that go beyond neat memories to deep, and valuable spiritual connections, chords that can't be broken...

I have told my kids that when I was a girl, I was poor in family, and rich in friends, while they are rich in family, and poor in friends.

Father, thank you for all the friends you have placed and kept in my life. An amazing blessing indeed, and I am basking in it.

Tofu?

While in Tn. this weekend with The Dawg, I tried a menu item I would not ordinarily get. I purposefully stepped out of my comfort zone and ordered a sandwich with hummus, veggies, and thinly sliced, firm, marinated, baked TOFU on pita with a salad on the side. It was AMAZING!!! Even The Dawg tried it, and liked it. I was most pleasantly surprised.

I decided to try out this discovery on my family, and made my own version. The kids kept asking "are we really having tofu?" as they were helping make hummus, and the marinade. It was almost as though they thought I was playing a joke on them.

Everyone ate a second pita, and our pickiest child even requested seconds on the tofu. I'm thrilled!!!

If you've not ever tried the stuff, give it a spin...

See There!!!

I told you I took his picture recently!!!! Here he is again, just in another part of Tn.