Leaving

Getting these birds raised, and out of the nest is a process. I know that from the moment my children took their first step, they started walking away. Leaving, if you will. That is most certainly part of my job, raising them to leave. Putting myself out of a job. It is constant, hard at times, wonderful, joyful, and sad all at the same time.

Of late I've noticed some new behaviors going on with our oldest. To be quite honest, I've been feeling very bugged by what I've seen. Nothing that is flat out wrong, just an attitude that I haven't understood. He is about to turn 14. He is becoming a man and ready to start leaving the nest. It IS exciting at one level, yet it leaves me with a need to let go of him and let go of my role in his life in a whole new way. While that's exciting, it's sad too. There are aspects of his life he wants to run, and others I am still very much running. So much of the struggle is the simple fact that he no longer wants to be told what to do. He will learn that he will be told what to do by SOMEBODY for the rest of his life. I'm all for letting go, we're just in the process of me letting go, and him taking hold.

More than anything, I've been impressed and even convicted of the need to pray through so much with him. When our kids are younger they seem to take the things we say, trust that they are absolutely true and right, think we're so smart, and agree with everything we say. This is good for my ego. As they get older they want to think for themselves, even if they are saying things that are flat out dumb! This is not good for my ego.

This week I've kept my mouth shut, and just been praying about the things I see. Yesterday I was able to ask a simple question about something I could tell had bothered him with an individual. Something that brought every bit of his struggle front and center. It became such a teaching moment. He was wide open, and I was reminded of something vital that I had forgotten. TALK WHILE DRIVING OR COOKING. I remember with my step-daughters that was the best time to talk about something that was hard to discuss. It was non-threatening for them to sit on the counter or washing machine(we have an old house and mine is in my kitchen) and talk when I was "busy". I think it took the feeling of being confronted out of the mix. After our talk, and having the opportunity to clearly spell out things I know are at play with him, and him giving me that look (the one I love!) that says "Wow, you KNEW that?" things felt so much better between us, and I had this sense that at a whole new level I was letting go, giving another nudge out of the nest, and he was fluffing his feathers and getting those wings ready to fly.

Lord, grant us the grace to launch these children to your care and will. Keep us and them at it.