Go To...

Take a quick look at Rublevsdog to see what talent we have in our home.

Make a Mama proud!

That's Better!!!

Tradition

Saturday night The Dawg and I went out to dinner, and were out later than usual. I had called my Mother (Grannie) to see if it would be okay with her if we were later than we had originally planned. She was fine with it, and wanted to know when to get the children in the bed. I told her the time I wanted them in bed, of course giving them ample time to get to sleep before we got in. :)

When we left for the evening our eldest was putting our Christmas tree together, and putting lights on. No problem. When we got home, much to my disappointment, I found that our tree had been fully decorated, and the kids were still up. WHAT???? I just stood there. There was some confusion, and some deception. My poor Mom was tricked!!! One of our children was overcome by an impish tendency and couldn't help himself. I had one bawling in remorse, and asking if I was angry. I responded that I wasn't angry at all, just disappointed. The tree is a tradition, and it's one that I want us to do together. I tried to love what they had done, but sat looking at it after they finally got to bed, and looked at Dawg and said "I can't do this. It's going to have to be redone". He grinned and said "Aaaahhhh, tomorrow we'll have them take all the decorations off, and we'll just sit and watch". We did just that!! Today they have been dying to redecorate. Nope!!! They must wait until the mood strikes me. Ha!

I did pull out some balls and fill them with sugar like Missy posted that she did in her kitchen. I had some old fabric I tore and used to hang them from the dining room light. Sort of a "rustic/country" look.

I'm getting in the mood for Christmas, but I wish it were snowing, and not 80 degrees. Mercy!!!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

I Think I can...

I talked to Ames yesterday about her exercise plan. I'm quite impressed. I've been toying with the idea of being intentional about kicking some poundage. I know this is one of the worst times of the year to re-start such a lofty thing, but a Body-builder I know says "If you won't start now, then you're not really ready". OUCH!!!

I know all Dieters say the same ole' "I'll start Monday" garbage. Well, I'm not a Dieter, and I AM planning on starting Monday, or whenever I am well. I don't have any lofty 1 hr. plan. Just 2 mi./day like Dr. OZ says to do.

Why Monday? I picked up Pink Eye somewhere. What the heck? I called my Dr. yesterday asking him to call me in a RX. He called me back last night asking for my symptoms and diagnosed me over the phone (I love that my Dr. will still do this, and even knows who I am when he calls. Very rare now). He asked what I usually take for Conjunctivitis. I said that I've only had it 2x and I've taken an Rx as a child, then used breast milk once. He guffawed! "Breast MILK???? Where did you come up with that, did it work, and how did you get it into your eye?" were his pressing questions. I told him I tried it while in a Homeopathic phase, my SIL was nursing a child at the time, and she expressed some into a cup. I took a dropper and put it in my eye. Yes, it worked. Dr. laughed and then very seriously said "Well, if it worked I have nothing to say". The Rx He sent seems to be working rapidly, so with a weekend of rest, and healthy eating, I hope to be ready to rock on Monday.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

More Random Junk

Today as I went through my day I had more random thoughts. Enjoy!

I like to get as close to 0 miles to empty as I can. It drives husband crazy!

I need a cup of coffee in the morning before I have to deal with people, or I feel grumpy.

I love riding through town when it's dark. I can see inside homes.

I am an Eric Rudolph "fan". I hate what he did. I admire the fact that he evaded the FBI for 5 yrs in the mountains of NC.

I don't like the way the pro-life agenda executes it's position most of the time.

I don't know what I want for Christmas.

I am feeling this motivation to exercise coming on. OM Gosh!!! What is happening to me?

I would love to be fit.

I've had body image ''issues" all my life.

I have a pair of footies that Shan knit sitting here on my desk. Left by one of Ames gals. Good work Shan!!

I like my laundry to smell like clean clothes. Not this unscented product.

I love to ride alone and crank up the tunes. It makes me feel young.

My Everybodyfields CD is still in my player, and I don't get tired of it, at all.

I think my brother is the most clever cusser I know.

Bread, wine, and cheese are some of my favorites.

I love appetizers.

Over the past few years, when people meet me, I've discovered they often think I'm much different than what I truly am.

I've changed a good bit over the past 15 yrs.

I want a 4-door, soft shell Jeep (red or green), or a lime green, or red VW Bug convertible when my Expedition dies.

If I had a "day job" I would love to be a Detective. I love the look of the white cotton top, khaki pants, and a gun on the hip!!!!

I would also like to be a Judge.

I love fast card games.

I have an amazing MIL. She is so much fun, and we always end up belly laughing when we're together. A rare, and true blessing!

I love John Rosemond's thoughts on parenting. My brother says "He'll jack a kid up in a hot minute''.

I struggle not to see things in "all or nothing" terms.

I deeply desire to be real as a person, and real in my faith.

I never had a cavity, then neglected going to the dentist for MANY years. Last yr. I went and had 11!!! She divided my mouth into 4 quadrants and we took the next several months to fix the Cavity Creep.

I'm claustrophobic.

I don't like whining.

I love daisies.

I love the smell of leaves on the ground, burning wood, and those fat markers.

I "check my zipper" often.

I bought a new RED purse tonight. It's great.

I respect my Husband more than any man I know.

I don't respect others easily.

With a few exceptions, I had more guy friends growing up than girlfriends.

My neighbor thinks he's still a teenager. His criminal record says he's 38. He is cranking up his music in the evenings. I may go "Jack" him up.

I need 8 hrs. of sleep on average.

I love Friday nights.

I love romance.

I'm frugal.

I'm tired and off to Dreamland.

I've enjoyed this. I hope you do...

Random Stuff

Ames, Kids, and I met Marsha at the Grove Park Inn to see the gingerbread houses. Amazing!!!

I poured candles last week.

Middle child not only broke arm, but contracted Poison Ivy, then got stung by a Bee 2x yesterday.

When I feel stressed I cuss.

I tried the new Sierra Mist with cranberry today. Yummy!

Today I baked a Red Velvet Cake from a recipe that belonged to my grandmother.

I love my pharmacy. The lady that works in the store sounds like a Mount Pilot Fun Girl (Andy Griffith Show).

My tree still isn't up.

I would love to run away right now.

I have horrid PMS.

I haven't blogged in a long time.

I've had some strange interactions over the last week and I'm relationally tired.

Sometimes I just don't want to be kind.

When I was young I lacked discretion. At times I wish that was still a good reason.

God is so much bigger than I know.

My opinion won't change things.

I knit a washcloth in one sitting last night. Yahoo!!!

I'm fighting some bug.

I cleaned my linen closet last week. It was major!!! I hauled off 2 bags from just one shelf. Yikes!

I have plenty to clean out still.

I would love to sit in front of the TV one day, all day long, not sharing the remote.

I need to go wipe out my Christmas list.

I'm thrilled cool weather is here.

I'm feeling a "quiet phase" coming on.

If you're still reading this you must be bored out of your mind. :)

What A Weekend

This weekend The Dawg and I headed to Asheville, NC for an Everybodyfields concert with Michael Holland opening. We had a great night, and ate wonderful food.

As I mentioned before, I would be buying yarn on behalf of one of my children that saw fit to cut some yarn I was using during a crochet project. I found some amazing wool for $7.50 and bought 2.

The Dawg and I returned Saturday around 12:00 and received a call from Grannie that our middle child was in the ER with a possible broken arm. We went straight there, and were in the ER with him for 5 hrs. He did indeed break his left forearm in 2 places. Clean break, and will most likely heal just fine.

Saturday night I went to a friend's house where 5 other girls I grew up were gathered for fun, food, and fellowship. There were gals in from SC, VA, MD, and WI. I spent the night. We stayed up until 4:00 a.m. watching videos of ourselves from our youth, laughing ourselves sick!! I had a great time, and know I'm getting way too old to stay up like that.

A great weekend, for sure!!!

Newbie

Ames, Clumsy Ox, and Co. came over Saturday night. We went to dinner, then came back to our house and I received a long awaited knitting lesson. I've been working on a small scarf this week just using the knit stitch. I will begin a scarf using a knit/pearl (I think that's how you say it) next week, assuming I finish this project this weekend.

I like knitting so far. I long for the day I can create groovy socks!

What The Heck???

I ran to Lowe's to look over their flowers. Just air out a bit. As I was riding through town, on 2 corners there were families out "preaching". Something about all of this made me cringe. It made me feel angry if I'm totally honest. Behind my anger, I'm sad. They were waving posters with flames, and screaming about sin. I have no clue who these folks were, or what they are about, I just hope that during the rest of the week their lives are drawing folks that don't know Christ TO him, especially their children and youth.

I think I had such a strong reaction, in part, because I have loved many people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the misrepresentation of Christ and all He is about. Something of beauty, and life made into dysfunction, schism, angry bigotry, dishonesty, and hate, all in the name of God. It can take a lot of time to unlearn all the lies about who God is and what He's about. It most assuredly takes courage to challenge your belief system.

Maybe those folks on the corner today are dead on and I'm way off. At this point in my life I'm just wanting to live in such a way that makes people want to know the risen Lord. Most of all, I want my children to be absolutely clear what we're FOR, and what the business is that we are to be about. If they are clear that worship is vitally important, we are to Love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, might, love our neighbors as ourselves, and keep a clear conscience before God and man, I'll be one happy gal when I depart. For now, that is enough and keeping me quite busy.

Valley of the Shadow

An assignment was sent out over the blog sphere to write your own eulogy. I've thought about it, and worked at it, and simply can't do it the justice done by others. The best I can present you is my hope, and if less is more, I'll do just fine.

She loved the Lord, and She loved us passionately...

If that's all that is said of me when I die, that will be enough.

Trick or Treat

For many years we chose to abstain from Halloween in any way. I think in some way it made us feel more spiritual, until we began to explain WHY we weren't begging for candy from willingly sharing neighbors to our very inquisitive oldest child. We saw that we would defile him more by explaining our "conviction" than just letting him go out dressed in a fun costume, not evil, and collect some candy.

4 years ago we started gathering for a meal, and pounding the streets with dear friends of ours. It has been great fun and created marvelous memories. Tonight was no different. Fun was had by all, and lots of laughs were enjoyed, not to mention the sugar!!!

I do have to say that it was refreshing to see our children dressed cute and fun, and not in evil costumes. There were very few cute costumes out tonight.

I sure do love our little crews!!!

Fall In The Kitchen

Thursday evening my children had to pay the Piper for misdeeds and go to bed at 6:30. My hubby was teaching his last class at a local community college, and I had the remote!!! I watched Food Network until he got home. It was marvelous!

I caught Rachel Ray first and she made the most unusual dish with a pumpkin sauce. It had herbs, spices, and sausage. It was served over whole wheat pasta, alongside whole grain bread, and a salad. I had all the ingredients and decided to give it a go. I fixed it tonight and my family liked it. I got responses ranging from "Yeah, it's edible" (from our pickiest), "I like it, I love the bread", to "I love it" and then The Dawg said "The pumpkin makes it pretty girly, but I love the sausage". I'll take that as a success.

I served the sauce over whole grain/whole wheat mixed spaghetti noodles, a french loaf made of an organic white whole wheat, and a caesar salad.

I'm trying to save $$ so we will be having left over noodles in lo mein tomorrow night. We are having company over Friday night and I am doing something I've never done before. It's an idea I saw in a recent Southern Living issue, and I think it'll be fun. I'll blog on the idea later, and let you know how it went. I fear that if I blog about it the guests will read, and will cancel on us. :0)

Pumpkin Sausage Sauce

1 tbsp EVOO (I didn't use...)

1 lb Italian Sausage (I used hot)

4 cloves garlic

1 med. onion finely chopped

1 bay leaf

4-6 sage leaves cut very fine

1 cu. dry white wine (didn't have any on hand)

1 cu. chicken stock

1 cu canned pumpkin (I used more like 1 1/2 cu)

1/2 cu. heavy cream (I used fat-free half and half)

1/8 tsp. gr. cinnamon (I always use more spices!)

1/2 tsp. nutmeg

salt to taste

pepper

pasta

parmesean to garnish

sides : whole grain bread, and salad

Directions: Cook sausage, then I cut them up. Drain well. Chop onion and herbs well, except bay leaf. Add to sausage. Sweat onion, add stock (and wine if you like), add bay leaf, add pumpkin, stir well, add cream, press garlic and add. Add spices. Continue to stir well. I just brought it to a simmer then reduced heat to low as I got my water started for my pasta. I covered it and let it come together until the pasta was finished.

Enjoy!!

Recipes

We are making some dietary changes around here to battle the bulge. What we are doing is weeding out processed foods, white flour, sugars, and unhealthy oils. That's the short of it.

I will be altering recipes we already eat to comply with our changes. I'll post some of the yummy recipes we try and like. If you have some of your own that you would like to share, feel free to post!

Bon Appetit!

Fall Garden

I haven't blogged on my garden in some time. The drought has made it tough to do much but pray and wait.

My Greens are coming in nicely, and have grown significantly since a good soaking rain last week, and a couple this week. My Sugar Snap Peas, and Romaine are growing well also.

I look forward to enjoying these goodies in the coming weeks.

A Great Example

A few weeks ago I ran into a neighbor at a local store. Just hours before, I had attended a John Rosemond seminar at our church based on one of his best books, Teen-Proofing. The neighbor and I exchanged friendly "Hey, how are you?" greetings, then I asked how his youngest child was doing in college. It's her first yr. Of course, he opened up conversation about his other 2 children. He kept talking about one in particular and referring to all the trouble they've been in. I have heard bits and pieces, but don't really know anything about this young adult. I told him that.

My neighbor and I stood in the aisle for a good 30 min. He told me about all the trials they have been through with this particular child of theirs. Drugs, theft (related to drugs), poor peer choices, and the like. This guy made it clear he has a deep faith and that is what has kept him over the past few years. He also told me how extending grace to this child year after year was only enabling more trouble, he eventually had to get tough. He told me that while working one day, he received a phone call from the Police that they needed a large sum of money, or needed to come to his house and "collect" the son. He had to set up his son to be at his apartment at a certain time that evening so the Police could come pick him up. Nobody in the family knew of this phone call. I can't imagine how hard that must have been, especially knowing what a heartache it would be for the Mother. This is true love in action. He made it clear that none of this was done out of anger, but out of love, and how utterly difficult it was.

I stood in the aisle in absolute awe. I told him how much I respect him, and how it gives me comfort to know that should the day ever come where I have to be tough with one of my children for their greater good, the Lord will sustain me and grant me the grace to execute whatever I must.

I saw this neighbor's truck pass by my house this morning while I was dusting, and offered up a prayer of thanksgiving for the example he has set.

Thank you Lord that though we don't live in the most costly neighborhood in this town, I believe it is easily one of the richest! I am surrounded by amazing stories and lessons.

Oink Award

Today I bit the bullet and cleaned the rooms of 2 of my children. Oh my word!!! It amazes me the JUNK these children can accumulate in no time flat.

I haven't done a good "Mom clean" in a while. Trashing what they haven't taken care of in the 2 day grace/warning period, and finding places for what's left. I got a full trash bag out of each child's room.

My daughter came in, looked around, and said "Oh, it feels so good to be in my room again". I'm glad she feels that way. I hope she will maintain the order for a long time. If not, she will most likely suffer the devastation of missing goods that have been sent to junk heaven (a.k.a, the dump).

While cleaning I received a phone call from a young man that came around my neighborhood from a local investment firm a few weeks ago. He's new in town, and I was friendly toward him, though I was honest that I don't have any money to invest anywhere. Today he wanted to let me know of some good bonds that were available if we had any extra money handy. I played it cool. He then asked if we have retirement plans. I assured him we do through my husband's work (I should have made it clear that my husband does). He then asked me about mine. I almost busted out laughing, telling him that "I have mine in my room, on the floor, right by my door. It's an old apple juice jar full of change I get out of the washing machine while doing laundry". The reality is that I pray my children will take me in and care for me when I am old and feeble, heck, I hope I don't get feeble, and yet grow very old.

The Lord has funny ways of adding humor to my days. I've learned to be humored by the little things in life, and not take myself too seriously.

Retirement. Hmmm...maybe I could raise pigs!!!

Shadows

I can remember times when I was a young girl, in those last moments of my day, waiting to fall asleep, getting scared out of my mind by the shadows that were cast on my wall from the trees out in my backyard. I KNEW that they were trees, and yet they still scared me. I think the problem was that there were other things I was scared of, and the shadows tapped into those fears.

I think the same thing can happen in relationships. Something very black and white gets distorted and skewed because of misconceptions, frustrations about other things, fatigue, or other problems at hand.

I don't know that there is an exact answer as to the best way to handle each relational "shadow". I do know that as a girl, rolling over, crying, asking the Lord to HELP, and holding on to the reality that in the light of morning I could go outside, look at the trees, and know that it truly was only the tree's shadow I was seeing on my wall. JUST a tree. Whew! Then I would lift my head toward the heavens, and ask the Lord to take care of all those scary feelings. He did. All in good time, He did...

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

I got out of bed less than an hour ago. I tip toed into the kitchen, made my coffee, and settled into the living room for some quiet time before my day started. My youngest still has this keen sense of when I rise. She came in, kissed me, and gave me that look that says "can I get up yet?" I smiled and said, "Good morning! I love you. Back to bed until it's light outside."

I was able to have about 30 minutes alone to come to and drink in some truth before the sun came up enough for the children to justify rising (although you can't tell from this picture). My children congregated in my youngest child's bedroom to greet one another, and check the "light situation". They figured it was safe enough and came into the living room. In unison they were saying "MOM, it's raining outside!!" it was just like those rare mornings around here when it snows. They all gathered on the couch as they do when it snows, and my younger 2 children have done for years, looking outside, waving at people going to work, and taking advantage of their front row seats to nature's latest show, one that we haven't seen in weeks.

I love that my children are not so over stimulated by all the world offers children that they can't sit by a window and watch it rain, or snow, or the wind whip trees around, with sheer awe and delight. Some would say we have deprived our children since they don't have video games, don't spend time on the computer, and only watch a select few programs on TV. I disagree. If they need to catch up on that when they're adults, that's up to them, but for now, we want them sensitive to God's revelation of Himself through nature.

Father, thank you for the rain. Thank you for an amazing husband, and these 3 children that happen to be my favorites. Thank you so much for revealing yourself through nature. How kind!

Carpenter

I have an older brother that is a Carpenter. He is growing in his faith through some crushing circumstances. It's hard to watch. Yesterday He stopped by to visit since we haven't in a while. He was talking about many things he is going through and struggling with. He talked in a very real way about how he is seeking the Lord and how real all of this, once "far off God stuff" is becoming very real and practical to him. I rejoice!!! He tickles me. He is so very sincere. Very tenderhearted, yet very ragged, and real in his approach to his relationship with the Lord. He was talking about a difficult and ethical situation with an employer. He was so frustrated at the compromises being made on the part of the employer, and confused as to how to handle it all. He told me he just threw up his hands, lifted his head, and said "Well hell!! Lord, you were a Carpenter, what would you do?".

You've gotta' love that!!!

Water Restriction

Right now the area I live in is under water restrictions. That makes gardening tough. The Media is encouraging folks to report neighbors that are watering. I have decided to use minimal water, and my garden reflects that. I went out yesterday and felt rather frustrated.

I can tell I'm generally feeling like I'm under water restrictions. I take comfort that I'm just struggling with feelings, and feelings are a poor representation of truth.

Ever feel like things are just closing in on you? Like you can't take any more bad news? Like a bear on the inside? I'm there. No, it isn't PMS. It's just the state of things on Planet Earth. It makes me want to cuss. Actually, I've been doing a lot of "silent cussing" or cussing while alone lately. I hate it when I get like this. I recently saw the blog of a brassy gal I don't know, but like a great deal. She was flipping the bird to life in general. Loved that. THAT is how I feel right now. She already did it, so I don't need to.

The good in all of this? I know that none of this stops here. There is no guarantee that circumstances will change here or now, but I know the Living Water. I know where a Spring is. There is an endless supply of everything I need for life and godliness. This is a fact. One I must rest on in faith. I think I will.

One day water restrictions will be over for good!

Invitation

Yesterday I went to the Victory Garden of a Gal I hardly know. She is receiving a radiation treatment, and her thoughtful Husband wanted all the summer vegetables cleaned out before she got home from a week away. I went early, got my instructions, and got started.

The first part was a pretty dirty job pulling out some massive plants. I felt confident I was doing just as I had been instructed. No big questions as to if I was causing harm or not. After I finished, I was to do some pruning.

When I got home, and was showering I was thinking about what a blessing it was to be invited tend to another person's garden. A real treat, for sure. As I was thinking and praying, it became clear there was a major lesson taught to me just a little earlier.

It wasn't nearly as easy when it was time to go through and prune. I was unsure of how much she would want cut back, and didn't want to get too happy with the trimmers. Isn't it like that in relationships too? It isn't usually the big, or hard stuff that does us in. It's the little things. The "biggies" may require more labor in some way, but the real agony can come in the many little things.

My time yesterday in her garden underscored for me just how important it is to use a very light hand in dealing with or judging another person's actions. I don't know what all has taken place in the garden of their soul. The changes in the landscape, the flowers, the pests, the plants, the weeds, the fruit, the growth, the set backs, what's to stay, what's to go. I simply don't know what the Master Gardener's priorities are in another person's garden.

Unless I'm INVITED to help prune, and even then, prayer, a light hand, and a tender heart is only proper.

Thank you Lord for such a rich lesson in the garden.

It's Going To Be Okay

Tonight I had another one of my "Over The Fence" talks with the older lady that lives next door to me. I often end up in such conversations on my way out to run an errand. They've come to be one of my favorite treats. Tonight, it was chit chat about a local political matter, Creation, the drought, unseasonably hot weather, and cutting up over the absurdity of not being able to get a decent neighbor on the other side of me, so we send out the Police instead of the Welcome Wagon. Her lighthearted laugh, and good natured joking were a balm to my soul. She usually ends up telling me a great story from her life's library when we talk. She did tonight. I always come away from talking to this woman feeling like my soul has been fed.

When I was driving to pick up my eldest child from a church activity, I had the most amazing feeling of well-being, much like I feel when I see clothes on a clothesline blowing gently in the wind, smell clean clothes, or a great cinnamon laced candle.

I've noticed that there is a sense of assurance that everything will be okay among the folks I know that grew up during the Depression Era. I didn't grow up knowing that, and I didn't hear that much growing up. I questioned God a lot about how things would turn out for me, and begged Him to make it good.

At times in my life, the Lord has allowed things that didn't feel okay, but the truth is, with Him I can always trust that in the end, it's going to be okay.

Lucy And Ethel? No, Lucy and Ann

There is a lot to be said for a Best Friend.

I never had a Sister growing up. I always fantasized about having one, and in my fantasy, I didn't ever like her. It's just as well that I didn't have one...

I DID have a Best Friend that was as opposite from me as a gal could be. I am a "strapping" gal of 5'10'' and have been since 13. I weigh more than you would guess, for sure, and there's nothing petite about me. I have a pretty bold, and very honest perspective, and opinion to express most of the time, and until recent yrs. lacked much discretion with my honest opinions. There isn't much bubbly or sweet about me, and having 2 pretty "cool" brothers, I didn't tend to be very silly.

My Dearest Friend from childhood is not even 5' tall, very petite, tends to be more non-confrontational, she chooses her battles carefully. She certainly has opinions, but is able to come across as neutral. I've had the privilege of hearing many of the rants others would never hear. Missy is one of the most loving, giving, and truly sweet people I've ever known. It's genuine. Not a bunch of fake, put on stuff. She's pretty bubbly, sweet, and lots of fun, at times borderline silly, even now.

We've been friends since we were 4, I think. Her home would be the first of many of my "homes away from home".

I got a call from her tonight. We talked for almost 2 hrs. and I just need to say what a comfort it is to have people who know almost all there is to know about you, at least, the very worst, and still love you, accept you, and want relationship with you. It's a gift indeed! Missy, I'm glad to have you as my friend!!! You've been much better than that Sister I fantasized about.

Thank you for hanging in here with me for all these yrs.

I love you girl!!

Forgiveness Isn't...

I've had a few additional thoughts about forgiveness, and hope they're helpful.

Often times when there is a sin we need to forgive, or need to be forgiven of, we either forget there are consequences or get hung up on making sure there ARE concequences. There tends to be this assumption that forgiveness makes everything "okay" and lets the offending party off the hook. I think that is where most folks recoil at the thought of forgiveness without really understanding what forgiveness is, and the freedom waiting on us when we do forgive.

Certainly there are varying degrees of sin/offense on a human level that require varied responses or boundaries. Each situation can be very unique and complicated. I think we usually think of forgiveness in terms of being a kid, someone kicks us in the shin, it hurts some, they say "sorry" we tell them we forgive them, or "it's okay", then go on, leaving ourselves wide open to continue to be kicked.

I tend to think of forgiveness like being in a basketball game, and being fouled. Some fouls are just simple, unintentional slaps on the arm, others are face wrecking nose breaks.

If someone simply slaps me on the arm, I most likely need to forgive, and go on. Especially if they acknowledge it. Other times may require me not to even acknowledge that I've been fouled at all. If it's a broken nose, I need to get my hiney off the court, and get to a Dr. to set my nose. My concern becomes getting fixed or healed. The Ref. will take care of the offending player, ESPECIALLY if He's my Dad!! Fines, and maybe ejection are what that player is in for. I would do well to be more concerned about my nose, and the future of my face. There ARE consequences for him. They are none of my business. Once I forgive, and the healing begins, I'll be able to clearly see the boundaries that need to be in place around my life, if any. Nobody ever sees clearly with watery eyes from a broken nose.

The Father who was willing to give His only Son to shed His blood for me, sees all, and knows my heart along with the heart of anyone I've ever hurt, or been hurt by. Nothing escapes his eye, and He cares far beyond my comprehension, yet not nearly as much about many petty things I may get hung up on. He's righteous and JUST.

As I've come to know what my Father is like, I've been pleasantly surprised to find that He is nothing like what I thought He was, based on the natural "God Representatives" I had. In my mind's eye, I had Him fashioned all wrong!!! He doesn't go passive, He won't leave us, yet He's not a bully. He won't jump into the pit of unforgiveness, or bitterness WITH us. His rescue of me hasn't always been as comfortable and easy as I've wanted it to be, and looking back I now agree. He demands far more of me than I thought He would, and far less at other times. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. That doesn't mean there ISN'T a yoke, or a burden.

We will each have unique characters in the story of our life, but the story lines are very similar. We all desperately need to be forgiven, and if we haven't been fouled yet, it's only a matter of time...

What Is Forgiveness???

Today I had 2 very unrelated conversations with folks that are feeling the sting of having been deeply hurt by someone they love. In both conversations the topic of forgiveness came up, and it's gotten me thinking...

For a long time now I've seen people come to those points in life where they have to choose to forgive, or go head long into bitterness. No, bitterness isn't necessarily what they are consciously choosing, but it is the natural outcome of NOT choosing to forgive. Easy to say, we learn some of this very early on in church. The hard part is when you have been left naked, and cold on the inside, and you are faced with the reality that in the economy of God's Kingdom, forgiveness is a given.

Well, what is forgiveness anyway? What does it mean? What does it look like? What will it feel like? Will it make me feel any better? What does it mean for the offending party?

I can remember the first time I was confronted with a REAL need to forgive a party. A godly man came to me and said "Stace' you MUST forgive ........" I remember crying and snapping back "How much better will I feel after I do THAT, and how is that going to make my life any better NOW"? This poor fellow really didn't have the answers for me. That's okay, I wasn't really listening yet. I was just mad, mad as all get out, and underneath that, hurt, very hurt!!! The Lord knew my heart was to do what He wanted, and had already placed a godly couple as Sunday School Teachers (he was a counselor with the Fire Dept.) in my life to begin to answer some of the deepest questions of my broken heart, and busted up life. I told him how mad I was that this other fellow told me I had to forgive the offending party. He agreed with the guy. How dare He? He was supposed to be on my side! He cared too much to not shed light on the path to true freedom. It would be yrs. before I really began to "get it".

I went to the Fire Station where my SS teacher worked many afternoons to talk out much of the confusion I faced, and begin to pursue the deepest questions I had about forgiveness. He was reading Bold Love by Dan Allender at the time, and it gave him so many good answers to faithfully put in front of me. I can remember being told "Forgiveness only opens the door to the restoration of the relationship, upon the other person's repentance". Okay, that sounds good enough. Provides me with some safety there, I can accept that. Easy enough. Nope, not enough! That still doesn't answer "What is forgiveness?".

I truly have come to believe that forgiveness is giving up my right to "pay somebody back" or punish someone when they hurt or offend me. It doesn't stop there. I believe true biblical forgiveness accepts Christ's shed blood on the cross as ENOUGH for the sin against me that I may well want to ''handle" myself. That isn't always easy, and only becomes easier with practice. OUCH!!! The cool thing is that we aren't just "dropping it" we're accepting Christ's payment of shed blood as enough to satisfy our demand for retribution, and then the debt no longer involves us. It's between the offending party, and The Father. This is where the healing in my emotions BEGINS. It takes time, but will happen. I'm then able to go on and continue to love, I'm free from bitterness and it's defiling impact, if a relationship has been broken, I can be free to remain open to restoration upon the other person's repentance. I'm free to love, and truly free to heal.

Forgiveness will be necessary to give and receive for the rest of our lives. More than anything, in understanding what forgiveness is, I've come to a much greater appreciation of just what it really means that I've been forgiven, and see that the cross isn't just a neat thing for us to talk about at church, or claim to "go to Heaven". It's a nitty, gritty reality.

What a sweet, sweet Savior!!!

Soup & Bread

Now that Fall is finally upon us, it is most certainly time to make a pot of soup, and get the bread baking cranked back up.

Send me some of your favorite soup and bread recipes.

It's In The Air

Aaaahhh, my fall garden is planted, and it's starting to cool enough to be invigorating. I can feel some creative flow kicking in, and it's a good thing, b/c it's going to be another "homemade Christmas" around here. Beware, if you're on my "trading list" for Christmas, it'll most likely be a homemade gift. I'm so OVER the commericalized Christmas, and am ditching our culture's greed for the simpler things. In the coming weeks I look forward to afternoons of basket weaving, sewing PJ's for my younger children, making soaps, lotions, candles, and creating stamped cards with the kids.

How's the freshness of Fall inspiring you?

Open Hands

Last night The Dawg was watching a college game that began to feel more personal than entertaining, so he declared that if Alabama lost to Arkansas there would be no more college ball in our home. Mercy!! Our boys would have needed many sessions of therapy for that one!! He cut off the T.V. and "hit the road" taking a mile walk, talking out some frustrations with the Lord. I finished folding a load of clothes, put them away, turned out all the lights in the living room, grabbed a blanket, and went out to sit on the patio (this was around 10:00). I sat for a good while praying and looking a the stars before he got home. He arrived, and I just continued praying and star gazing. After a while, he began to open up, and talk about many things on his mind. He announced that he thinks he may leave the career he has been in for roughly 21 yrs. and "do something else". It's funny, I was just sure a yr. ago when some things were going on in his work situation, that the Lord would intervene and all would be well in no time. NOT SO!! Instead, the Lord has granted us the grace to weather the storms, and see ourselves in the midst. Yuck!! It has provided me with an opportunity to see, and surrender much to the one who knows that I am but dust, and died for me anyway. I'm learning that He's good, regardless of what's going on. I'm also learning that what a very wise, faithful father figure told me yrs. ago is true..."Stacey, hang onto hope, but don't EXPECT". I think he knew me far better than I ever gave him credit for. I'm growing into that. I still have plenty of wiggle room, and thus room to grow. Most likely it will be a work in progress until I'm on the other side. I do feel though, like I am at a place with the Lord where my hands are wide open, willing to go, do, or stay wherever He wants us, and waiting with bated breathe for what's next.

Father,

Thank you for all you've given, all you've taken away, all you have planned, and all you are!!!

Hospitality?

I think I've had an enlightening thing happen this week. More of a "DUH" thing that anything, but heck, I've learned something, and for that I'll rejoice!

I've had a couple of opportunities arise over the past week and a half where neighbors have had something of a serious nature going on in their lives. You know, especially in the church I grew up in, and maybe in the "old" South, in general, it was just standard to offer a meal, and any help needed. Often times folks know they need the help of a meal prepared for them, or help with housework, or some other practical need, and will refuse the offer. Then you're left with sort of an awkward situation. Usually I have just plowed along and done what's been in my heart to do. It becomes a judgement call.

It dawned on me a week and a half ago when someone was insisting that they may not be at home much after a tragedy, and they didn't know if they would eat a meal there, that one of the best meals I can send to someone is a homemade Chicken Pot Pie, and an Apple Pie. They can freeze the thing for months if needed, or can go ahead and use it, but it's there. I can also make many ahead, and freeze them so I can have them on hand, ready to go at a moment's notice, as is usually the need. I HAVE them, so I can explain to the sweet decline that they are already in the freezer, all I have to do is pull them out, and bring them over. Who can deny that those are also some of the grandest comfort foods?

Soooo...tonight when I got the news that a neighbor's small child is in the hospital with pneumonia I left a message that I was bringing dinner (pot pie meal) would they like it Monday, or Tuesday?

Viola' problem solved!!!!

Blessings

In life, it's easy to take things for granted. The Lord, Life itself, family, friends, jobs, health, and the like. 'Tis true, we most oft don't know what we have until it's gone, but there are those occasions where we are alert, sensitive enough, and paying enough attention to what we have been blessed with to really bask in God's goodness toward us through Himself, His word, others, nature, etc.

Tonight while sitting in my living room with my husband and a childhood friend, I was struck by God's absolute goodness toward me, and the richness of the soil of friendships he put around my life from very early on. Friendships that I hold dear, that go beyond neat memories to deep, and valuable spiritual connections, chords that can't be broken...

I have told my kids that when I was a girl, I was poor in family, and rich in friends, while they are rich in family, and poor in friends.

Father, thank you for all the friends you have placed and kept in my life. An amazing blessing indeed, and I am basking in it.

Tofu?

While in Tn. this weekend with The Dawg, I tried a menu item I would not ordinarily get. I purposefully stepped out of my comfort zone and ordered a sandwich with hummus, veggies, and thinly sliced, firm, marinated, baked TOFU on pita with a salad on the side. It was AMAZING!!! Even The Dawg tried it, and liked it. I was most pleasantly surprised.

I decided to try out this discovery on my family, and made my own version. The kids kept asking "are we really having tofu?" as they were helping make hummus, and the marinade. It was almost as though they thought I was playing a joke on them.

Everyone ate a second pita, and our pickiest child even requested seconds on the tofu. I'm thrilled!!!

If you've not ever tried the stuff, give it a spin...

See There!!!

I told you I took his picture recently!!!! Here he is again, just in another part of Tn.

Round Up

All summer I have been pondering what to do with about 200 additional square feet of yard that is fenced in behind my garage, and on the side, just off of my garden. It has just been a grassy (really just hearty weeds) part of the yard. I began to imagine how much I could grow in those areas, and provide more garden space for greater production.

I waited until the weather got to a more tolerable heat (around 97) and one morning a couple of weeks ago went out early with my Round Up and started squirting away. It took me a good hour. During that hour I was left in quiet, with no distractions, and had lots to sort out in the quiet spaces. I had some time to get real with the Lord about some things in my life that were bugging me, and some things He's allowed that have hurt. Then, my thoughts turned to the weeds that so easily spring up in my life, and heart. I sort of got angry, if I'm completely honest!! I thought silently, "why on Earth is it that in this scorching heat my pitiful grass is all scorched, and ratty, burned up, and these weeds are just as hearty, and are thriving so well?". I thought, in my frustration, "why mess with the weeds? They ARE green, thriving and hearty".
Then I started thinking about just what it is I want. More area to produce more fruit, and some cutting flowers to add beauty to my garden and home, and share with others. As I've said before, the simple abundances...

I began to feel softened, and for some of the walls that had been up around my heart crumble. I began to open up to the Lord that I want more fruit, and trust his loving hand to come and "round up" the weeds in my heart and life, even in the life of our family. I see Him being so faithful to the invitation into the plots of my life that are riddled with weeds.

Now I have lots of scorched, dead weeds that must be raked, hoed, and removed from the garden once we get enough rain to soften the soil enough to remove them all. After all the weeds are gone, I will till, and begin working the soil, so that it's ready for the next growing season.

Thank you Lord for making me ready for the seasons you have for me.

A Stream Will Never Rise Above It's Source

Recently I've had a couple of reminders that in the natural realm the old saying about streams is painfully true.

Today we had a particularly glaring instance where someone we all respect very much had his own sin, and baggage get in his way of presenting truth as pure truth. It was one of those times you have to drop back 10 and punt with the kids, and make it clear that said party fumbled.

The Lord is so faithful to use these times as sober reminders. May we always point our children to the purest Source, and be good Representatives.

Know What?

I don't think Elvis ever REALLY knew how to love Priscilla. He tried when it was too late, then it destroyed him. How tragic!!

Bloomin' Cotton

Today I went out and found this little treasure. I've never seen a cotton bloom.

Chuck's Cotton

Late Summer Garden

Enjoy a few updated pictures.

Dog Days

Aaaah, August. There is nothing like hot, humid weather to make me long for Fall.

My first "real garden" has proven to be a real learning experience. I have neighbors I will refer to as "Mr. & Mrs. Green" that have been gardening most of their 87 & 84 yrs. They have QUITE a garden, and have the 9 yrs. I have lived here. This is the first garden they have had without corn in 57 yrs. However, they won't be going without green beans or tomatoes this year, that's for sure!!! Their 2 rows of beans have yielded over 100 canned quarts. They have roughly 50 tomato plants out.

Mrs. Green asked me "How's your garden growing?" a couple of weeks ago, and I told her I felt it has been a success apart from great disappointment over my beans. I told her how sickened I am over the difference in Runners, and Bush beans. She said she almost told me not to bother with the Bush Beans, but figured I knew what I wanted. I assured her that any advice is greatly appreciated and VERY welcome. Later that evening she called me over to come "chat a spell" and she had something she wanted to give me. She sent Mr. Green to their deep freezer to get me some Beans (yes, they're runners!!). This variety has been passed down in their family for over 90 yrs. That just amazes me!!!

I got busy the following day pulling up cucumbers. I had pickled roughly 30 lbs. of cukes. I've had my fill!!! I decided that the beans were well worth the space, and it became very important for me to at least put up another 5 qts. I tilled, and made my trellis for the beans to run on. We had a very good soaking rain, followed by very hot weather. Within the past week my beans have sprouted, and grown about 7". I'm hopeful that I will end up with a good yield before frost.

The Lord has faithfully used this garden to comfort, and encourage me this Summer. I don't much like summer, but this time of sewing and reaping make the season much more bearable for me. It's also served as a great reminder of just how all the various blessings and trials work together to bring about greater fruit.

Like Mrs. Green said upon exiting my garden early in the season, "How could any man plant a bean, over time watch it grow, and deny the existence of a good God?".

Over The Fence

Last week during the time my children rest and read for an hour in the middle of the day, and I recharge my batteries for the rest of the day, I went and sat in our garden. I was doing some reading when the neighbor from behind our house poked her head around her privacy fence to chat. She was telling me how she and another neighbor came and were looking over my garden, and the neighbor was stunned at how the tomatoes are producing so much fruit. She had several kind things to relay from their earlier conversation, then we went on about our own business. The conversation wasn't long, but it inspired me to do the journaling that follows...

Others may enjoy my garden, they can look over their fences, come visit, even sit a while, or enjoy the fruit of my labor, BUT only the Lord and I know the toil that has taken place in order for this to be such a place, and produce such fruit. Others don't know the areas that I battle the most hearty weeds. Others don't know the buckets of trash, scrap metal, etc. that I have thrown away, and still hoe daily from this area that was once another man's dumping ground. All others see is the order that I toil to restore so very often. It is also like this in the garden of my own soul...

Father, thank you for being MY faithful Gardener. Continue to hoe, create, and restore order in my life that I may faithfully love you, and others.

Welcome To My Garden

Welcome!!!

I will soon be posting some of the cool things I have been learning about our amazing Gardener, and the garden of my soul out in my vegetable garden. I hope you leave encouraged, and enriched.